Packing up stuff… well, starting to at least. Sifting through my books to figure out what goes to New York, to Lima, to somewhere else. I came across my old journals – these particular ones spanned 1992 through September of 2000. I wish I had been more diligent – there are wide gaps missing, significant stuff gone but for memories fading. Lots of struggles with being gay, being Christian, being one thing but wishing, wanting for another. Struggles to remain faithful to what I professed, then struggles to come to terms with what was real. Struggles with Mark. Even greater struggles with John. Parents knowing. School starting and then in a flash ending. The beginning of my Episcopal self, discernment, off to General the fall of 2000. None in that particular order. If I had actually started then, this would be my final year. I just can’t image that. So much has happened these past two years. Three weeks plus left until I actually do leave. What will I be after the end of the next three years?
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