These kinds of lists are all over the place. I like this list because it includes Open Theism and Anglo-Catholicism.
So, vai Father Jakes Stops the World:
Stuff Happens
From connexions by way of maggi dawn; an oldie but a goldie:
Stuff happens. What do the world’s religions have to say about this vexing existential problem?
Taoism: Stuff happens. Who gives a stuff?
Hinduism: This stuff has happened before and will happen again.
Buddhism: The stuff that happens doesn’t really.
Zen: What is the sound of stuff happening?
Islam: The stuff that will happen will happen.
Judaism: Lord, why is this stuff happening to me?
Evangelicalism: Jesus, we praise you and just wanna ask why this stuff isn’t happening to someone else?
Catholicism: Stuff happens because you deserve it.
Open Theism: Stuff happens to God too.
Pentecostalism: Tuffs appensh.
Anglo-Catholicism: Verily, verily, stuff happeneth.
Atheism: Stuff happens. Then you die. No more stuff.
Rastafarianism: Let’s smoke the stuff.
…and then a few more from maggi’s comments…
Hare Krishna: “Stuff” happens! “Stuff” happens! “Stuff” happens! “Stuff” happens! . .
Jehovah’s Witnesses: Let us in and we’ll tell you why stuff happens.
Quakers: Quietly praise God for the blessings that stuff brings.
Calvinists: Stuff won’t happen to you if you work hard enough.
Christian Scientists: Agree that there is no stuff.
Televangelists: Stuff won’t happen to you if you send in your love offering.
Any we missed?
Daily Archives: January 13, 2007
Where we stand
Just to makes things a bit more clear, for myself, as I forever try to find my way in the mêlée of theologies, polities, and arguments that present themselves in today’s world and church.
I am not a liberal that is enamored by Process or Naturalist theologies and do not much care for the more radicalized versions of Liberation, Feminist, Womanist, or Queer theological perspectives. There are interesting ideas presented in these theological arguments, but I do not count myself as a follower of any of them. I am not a liberal that adheres to the exclusionist tenants of Identity Politics or Political Correctness.
I could be considered a liberal person, in a positive way, who believes that there can be a place for all at the table, truly. Too many people I have know in academia and this Church believe the table should be open to anyone, except those who disagree with them – meaning conservatives or traditionalists. These kinds of people are not truly liberals, but rather anti-conservatives. I believe in respectful listening – and listening that means more than just giving someone the opportunity to open there mouths and say words or having the listeners simply hear words coming out of the opposition’s mouths. I mean listening that requires become able to argue the opponents position as a true believer of that position – of walking in the shoes of the other person. The goal isn’t that everyone agrees on particular thing, but that we recognize that in the other is an opportunity to grow and to learn and to be more balanced in our own beliefs – it is “iron sharpening iron.” That takes a lot of time and energy, but that is what I think being liberal really means. At least most conservatives don’t make a pretense of being “inclusive of all people” and “believing all ideas have equal value” and then hypocritically and intentionally not be either.
I am not a conservative in the way the conservatism has been demonstrated in politics and in the Church in this country. A conservatism or traditionalism that attempts to impose itself upon all and forbid opposing opinions from being expressed is not truly conservative, but is “fascist.” There is no virtue in attempting to control information, control thinking, or in the attempt to control period. Yes, I do understand that all laws are controlling and have an underlying moral component. Again, what seems to be yelling very loudly “I am conservatism” in these times is trying only to mask its “fascist” or dictatorial tendencies. Questions about women or gay people in ministry and society are not closed and cannot be stopped, no matter how certain groups try to silence other people or groups. We are not blindly locked into the “way things have always been.â€
I am a conservative or a traditionalist that believes in personal freedom, liberty, and the right of people to act for their own benefit, whether individually or communally. I am a conservative in the sense that I believe in personal responsibility and accountability, and in a person’s intrinsic worth, peoples personal ingenuity or ability, and in the respect for other free moral agents. I believe that tradition and the past play a very important part in the continuity of ideas and practice and are essential in society moving forward in a peaceful and informed manner. After all, those who are ignorant of history are condemned to repeat it.
It seems to me that real conservatives and real liberals complement one another, because their foci are different and their work and perspectives add to a more complete picture of humanity and the world in which we find ourselves.
Something like that…