Okay, so ten minutes ago, I called my CPE supervisor and told him, “I will definitely be there on Tuesday,” meaning I will be doing CPE this summer. Five minutes ago, I received a call from my doctor saying that I need to follow up with a kidney specialist. Why did I not wait fifteen more minutes to call my CPE supervisor? If I am going to have to continue seeing doctors, then it really doesn’t make sense to try to do CPE. A full-time hospital chaplain internship, including on-call duties, does not make sense if I am having to make appointments every other week.
Besides, I had this definite pang of disappointment after hanging up with my supervisor. The opportunities for the summer where out there for the taking, and I decided to cast them aside. Well, this just does make sense – if the major medical stuff would be over, then maybe, but even though I do not feel sick any longer, the kidney stuff, and the MAC stuff, and any other thing they may yet discover, in conjunction with doctor visits and procedures suggests for hassles then it is worth. So, I call and cancel my CPE experience – maybe. I can’t just leave during the day during CPE, like I could simply taking classes.
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Monthly Archives: May 2003
There are three production companies
There are three production companies doing shoots on the Close today. On our way for coffee this morning, we unexpectedly ran into a Brooks Brothers photo shoot right outside the Refectory. It is always fun to see photo and video production going on.
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It is getting very hard
It is getting very hard to motivate myself to study, especially when everyone else is done.
This CPE decision is becoming very difficult. Do I, or do I not? Permission, a gift given as Roy said, to take the summer easy should not be thrown away easily. Yet, there is that nagging feeling that the “still small voice” is saying stay in CPE. Of whom is the voice? I would love to take the summer off – perhaps the last time this opportunity will come my way. I hate agonizing over a decision.
I know either way I will be fine. What may be in store either way is what confounds me, and there is no way of knowing what is in store.
Chris e-mailed me and said I should NOT take a trip to the CDC in Atlanta unless it is absolutely necessary. He also said it is never a good thing to be an “interesting case.” I believe him.
I just need to get through these final few exams and I will be fine. The papers I have yet to write will be a joy, in comparison to the exams – tough to finish, but no memorization and I am in control of the product. Bed!
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Ashton says, “Hi” to the
Ashton says, “Hi” to the world – especially to John C.!
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Jason and Nick are now
Jason and Nick are now gone. The apartment will feel quite empty with only Roy and I. Of course, if Roy ends up getting the room he requested for next term this summer, it will only be me in this rather large and rambling apartment.
Leighton, Chris, and JR are gone, now. It will be so strange not having them around any longer. They were a fun and colorful bunch. This place will not be the same.
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Here is the latest news
Here is the latest news concerning ex-gay issues coming out of Focus on the Family’s e-mail updates. I would not for a moment advocate that P-Fox should not be allowed to voice their concerns before their elected representatives, but the perspective they present – ex-gay theology with an attempt at clinical/scientific reasonings – is so faulty that while sincerely believed is deceptive and wholly unsubstantiated. It reminds me of how the Mormons advocate to those they are evangelizing that they are orthodox Christian, but with another testament of Jesus Christ. Unbeknownst to the evangelizee, their theology is any thing but orthodox Christian, even though they use the same words. Someone, according to ex-gay ideology, is “healed and changed” when they stop engaging in certain behaviors. “I don’t do this and do do this, therefore God has healed me of my homosexuality.” Plus, along with behavior change, there is a mindset change. “Even though I still have homosexual desires, I do not call myself homosexual because God created me heterosexual, as He has with every human. I just have to have right belief.”
I know that some homosexuals engage in the same kind of mind-bending justifications of what I consider just as harmful arguments and behaviors, they are not lobbying Congress to remove civil rights from a whole group of people. I know according to current and predominate Fundamentalist beliefs that in trying to stop “gay-rights” they are in fact doing God’s work and saving our nation. I disagree. If civil rights are denied to one group by those in power, civil rights can be denied any group when not in power. Anyway, P-Fox is lobbying Congress that their perspective needs to be heard and implemented, for the sake of our country, families, and God’s way of life. I believe their theological and scientific arguments are severely flawed! I believe that the gay community must take the religious-rights’ anti-gay and prohibitionist political work seriously, because if they don’t, they will wake up one morning being forced back into the closet with no recourse. Aside from the political, all one has to do is talk to the thousands of people who have left ex-gay ministries to know that something is not right, and it isn’t the individual and it isn’t God. To the people who are harmed, not because God does a work in their lives, but because of what ex-gay ideology erroneously promises, we have to take the anti-gay prohibitionists seriously!
Here is the news article from Focus on the Family:
“Ex-Gays Lobby on Capitol Hill
By David Brody, Washington, D.C., correspondent
SUMMARY: Group brings message — “You can change” — to lawmakers.
People who have left homosexuality went to Washington, D.C., recently to make Congress aware of the harassment they face.
Former homosexuals went to Capitol Hill on Thursday to make their voices heard. The group, which is called Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays (P-FOX), said it is about time its message is heard.
“We’re here,” said Regina Griggs, who heads P-FOX. “We’ve changed. People can change. Please protect our right to choose.”
Griggs said the group believes if there are hate crimes laws to protect homosexuals, there should also be legislation concerning the harassment of ex-gays.
“We are discriminated against,” Griggs said. “What part of these laws protects us?”
But the larger point the group is making, is that homosexuality is a choice — and lawmakers need to hear that message, too.
“People do need to know the truth,” Griggs said. “They do not take the time to look for the truth, nor do they ever ask our opinion. If you’re going to judge homosexual issues, shouldn’t you talk to former homosexuals?”
It’s a subject that doesn’t receive much attention on Capitol Hill, according to Randy Thomas, a spokesman for Exodus International — a Christian group dedicated to helping former homosexuals.
“This is a very real, complex issue and there’s more to it than what the gay elite is sharing,” Thomas said. “The more that former homosexuals speak up, not only do we bring honor to the Lord, we bring the whole discussion to a new level,” Thomas said.
The trip to Washington, D.C., is a big first step. Organizers say it’s the first time, as a group, that ex-gays have lobbied Congress.
FOR MORE INFORMATION: The P-FOX Web site contains more
http://www.pfox.org/
For more information about people who have come out of homosexuality, we recommend: “Portraits of Freedom,” by Bob Davies with Lela Gilbert:
http://www.family.org/resources/itempg.cfm?itemid=2707&refcd=CE03ECZL&tvar=no
(NOTE: Referral to Web sites not produced by Focus on the Family is for informational purposes only and does not necessarily constitute an endorsement by Focus on the Family of the sites’ content..)”
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Life just continues on in
Life just continues on in the City.
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GTS graduation ceremonies were today.
GTS graduation ceremonies were today. Very nice! The Dean’s Latin had a little to be desired, but everything seemed to run smoothly and the ceremonies were quite nice. The same ceremonial from the mid-1800’s.
Today, Chris, Leighton, Ron, Chris & Michael were all up in Hoffman 5. This was the last I will spend time with them. It will be so odd having this group of seniors no longer around. I’ve grown very fond of the Seabury Heights’ guys. We had a great time talking up everything about he seminary, perhaps a bit too much gossiping, and just talking about life. I’m am up way too late. By the grace of God I will be able to sleep in a bit so that I won’t be overly tired for studying. I haven’t a choice.
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I’m very tired. I’m not
I’m very tired. I’m not sure why. Ashton and I roamed around the east village for quite a while last night. Maybe the extended walking tired me out. It is funny how before my illness I could walked 80-90 blocks (from the Cathedral of St. John the Divine back down to the seminary) and be fine, but now, after my illness, walking very far truly tires me out. I’m going to die when I start running again. Anyway, maybe that is why I am so tired today. I hope so.
Baccalaureate is in a few hours – Archbishop Desmond Tutu. I’m going to miss the seniors a lot – Chris, Leighton, J.R., especially. Dion will be heading back to Ohio. I should have been with him in this year’s senior class – we went through the process together. I think it odd to imagine being finished with school and headed for a ministry job if I had completed this whole process as I should have. Now, I find myself in a position where I may have to do things differently once again. I have always traveled my own road, not intentionally, though. It just seems like I end up doing things differently than everyone else. It may be that way again if I don’t start CPE in a couple weeks. I will experiencing everything differently, once again. As Roy says, I have no idea what the future will hold!
Back to the seniors – though I have not been able to spend as much time with them as I would have liked, being sick for 6 weeks does that, (I never did make it up to David and Richard’s for the Sunday night Six Feet Under get-together) the seminary will not seem the same. That undercurrent of Anglo-Catholicism that runs throughout the seminary (“current and future deans take note”), will now be left up to others, possibly myself included. Claire will be at St. Mary’s the Virgin. I don’t remember who will be at St. Ignatius. John will be at St. Thomas. I don’t know who will be at St. John’s in the Village. Maybe I will end up at St. Paul’s, Carroll St. in Brooklyn. Different than Ascension. I’m not at all discouraged by not being accepted for field placement at Ascension. It will be a great place for Tim, and for some reason I am drawn to St. Paul’s. Lord, your will be done – for CPE and for field placement!
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I do not want to
I do not want to study today! I have to. Too many exams coming up. Next week, my make-up mid-term for NT and final for OT. Today is Baccalaureate and Desmond Tutu is speaking. Roy gave me one of his tickets to the chapel, so I can see him speak in person rather than on a video screen in the overflow room. I saw his speak at Oberlin for commencement one year Amy Burrows was still working there. I think it was before Apartheid fell. I just don’t want to study!
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