Journal - 9/3/01

Friday, 3 September 2001

The MRI results were negative! The bone, cortex, marrow, and surrounding tissue all showed no signs of cancer. The audible sounds of relief from my mother stressed once again how others were more concerned about this then I was. I need to go back in three months for another x-ray, and then possibly another bone scan in six. The specialist said this seems to simply be another example of the odd stuff that happens to all of us from time to time. I know several doctors and all have said this guy is good, so I will trust him.

I have been somewhat amazed (well, not really but in light of the reactions of others I think I should be) at the peace and dispassionate concern I've had over this whole thing. I haven't been in denial at all, yet I know all things will work as they should. If it were cancer, I would simply go through it. As horrendous as it may be, what other options would I have? I'm not going to live an anxiety ridden life. The verse in Philippians has really come to reality in my life during this situation: 'Rejoice in the Lord always... The Lord is near. Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.' (Philippians 4:4-7)

I have been at peace. Admittedly, I'm disappointed about not being in NYC this year, but I am going to take classes through Trinity in Columbus (classes meet in Cleveland) and through Kent. It won't be a wasted year by any means. Plus, with the new curriculum at General going into effect this year (unbeknownst to me), it will give me the opportunity to re-evaluate whether I really want to go to General.

Next weekend I am going to NYC to see a good friend from Germany and his family, to see some people at General, and then spend a few days on Fire Island with Ned. I'm looking forward to this!