Thursday, 3 January 2002

My inability to stay asleep has returned! Yesterday, I awoke at 2:30 am and couldn't go back to sleep. Yesterday cuts the cake -- that's the earliest I've woken up and not been able to go back to sleep. This morning, I awoke at 4:30 am, which is thankfully two additional hours, but still only leaves me with only 5 hours of sleep. That's not enough. I don't know why I do this, but it has been going on for years. I don't remember whether the problem I had last year began around this time, too. All I know is I hate it -- it makes me miserable. It is now 6:00 am and I am dead tired, my eyes are killing me, and my brain is in a fog. I have the whole rest of the day to look forward to. I have no problem falling asleep; I just can't stay asleep.

I heard not too long ago on NPR that a researcher discovered a gene passed down from generation to generation in families with 'Early Morning Waking Syndrome' that seems to suggest that there was more to this then simply waking up early or being depressed or whatever. My grandmother, my mother, my siblings, and now my nephew all wake up very early, although it is far less pronounced in my siblings.

When I get into this mode, I'm good for nothing. Well, there are those who would say I'm good for nothing regardless of how much sleep I get! Anyway, after work I have no motivation to work out -- I have no motivation to do anything. I suspect I could simply go to bed, but what kind of life is that? Something has to give! Even if it is drug induced. Or, maybe, move to England or Germany or someplace with a time zone that seems to fit my internal clock a little better. Actually, living in Europe would be fine with me! AND, the Anglican churches in continental Europe are under the dominion of the US Episcopal Church. Hum..... I remember the Episcopal Church in Munich when I was there. Nice building, but I never attended due to the fact that I wasn't Episcopalian at the time. That church was first in a number of comical steps that lead Teresa and I to roam all over the city on Easter Sunday looking for something worth while to do and ending up seeing a belly dancer in a Middle Eastern restaurant. Long story, crazy, but memorable.

Sam and Russ came over last night. Russ had gotten a video tape while in Texas from a pastor of a MCC church. He was conducting some kind of seminar on the Bible and Homosexuality. Russ, despite everything still cannot bring himself to fully accept the possibility of God condoning gay relationships, said that this is the best argument that he has seen from 'our side' of the fence. It was quite good, although really nothing new, except for one thing. The 19th chapter of Judges gives a story that is amazingly similar to the Sodom and Gomorrah story found in Genesis 19. The parallels are remarkable. The one thing that the pastor said that caught me attention was how no one, Jewish or Christian, seems to use the Judges story as example of how God condemns homosexuals. Why is that? The Judges story does goes into more detail and involved the men of Gibeah taking the concubine of the visitor and raping her and abusing her all night until she died. The story in Genesis ended with the escape of Lot, his family, and the angels. I've read the Judges story many times, but have never seen the parallels to the Genesis story. The implications are interesting....

Ugh, I have to work on Webpages all day. I'm not going to make it!

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