Sunday, 25 February 2001
I've been reading the book Hostage for a few days now. You know, I think it is really good! R.D. Zimmerman has done a very good job with this book. On the cover, it says the book is a Todd Mills mystery, so I guess there are number of books with this character as the hero. The book is suspenseful -- well done I think. Todd Mills, the hero, is a gay TV reporter. I recommend it.

The book is kind of distressful because it deals with AIDS and those on the far right who want to cast AIDS as a gay disease that is deserved. It makes me think of one friend in particular who has been HIV positive since the early '80s, and as of yet hasn't sero-converted. That, in and of itself, is amazing! But, I think, what will happened to him. It scares me. Then, I think about myself and what kind of future is in store as I will have to deal with this issue more and more in the type of profession I am going into. I wonder whether I can do it. Then, I think about the prospect of relationship and wonder whether I can ever truly trust another person when the prospect of AIDS is there and growing. I know I can trust people, yet there is always a nagging suspicion whether the truth is being told or whether a slip up has occurred.

I'm still amazed, although I probably shouldn't be, that there are still those who would advocate that gay guys are gay simply because they want to have a lot of sex. As if being gay was so lust consuming that there is nothing else to consider or deal with. That it is that simple. Why would they think with all the negative pressure and all the oppression and all the threat of violence that guys would put themselves in this situation just because the wanted a lot of sex? Believe me, one doesn't have to pretend to be gay to have a lot of sex. I work on a college campus. I know what the straight guys to and what occupies a good portion of their thoughts. If it were only sex, guys could get all they want with women. The religious right has blinded themselves in their own self-righteous pride. Pride comes before the fall -- to all of us.

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