Friday, 2 February 2001
I did a really terrible thing yesterday that I'm quite ashamed of. It isn't necessarily all that terrible, but bad nonetheless. At least to me. My mom called and said they are coming up to my brother and sister-in-law's this weekend. My brother and dad have plans -- the reason for the trip -- and my mom called yesterday to see whether I wanted to do something with her on Saturday. It kind of through for a loop and I hem 'n hawed, embarrassingly so, about thinking I have tentative plans and not knowing and all that kind of stuff. My mom would do absolutely anything for us, anything, and here I was, with no real plans but just thinking I would like to see a movie with someone, telling her that I don't think I could. I'm ashamed of myself!

Why in the world would I be so hesitant to spend a day with my mom? It should be something that I would do without hesitation. So anyway, I will call her this morning from work where I have my calendar and tell her that I am free. To think, so many people who don't have mothers or whose mothers want nothing to do with them and here I am practically telling my mother I don't want to spend time with her for no good reason. That's bad and I am ashamed of myself. I'm going to suggest we take a trip to Ikea in Pittsburgh -- barrow my brothers SUV and buy stuff! with money I don't have. How fun is that!

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