Thursday, 18 January 2001
I'm not feeling too, what?, motivated this morning. I had a good workout yesterday and ran into Ron, which was nice. I'm stopping by his place tonight to pick up the chocolate-fruit-round-thing-that-looks-like-an-orange-and-you-slam-on-the-table-to-break-apart gift he got me for Christmas, and to see him. Sometimes I wonder whether I am making a mistake by not considering developing a relationship with him, but I still thinking focusing on a friendship is the best route to go.

I've been thinking a lot about my brother and sister-in-law. They are going through some hard times. I pray that their vows will remain in tack, their marriage continues, and they are able to regain the excitement and wonder they first new. It will be tough, I think, but I know it is certainly possible by plenty of examples I've seen.

Andy sent me another doctored photo from the cam yesterday. I have to download it and include it in the next journal entry.

Had the first of three Lotus Notes training sessions yesterday. The whole affair had to be redone at the last minute because of the configuration limitations of Lotus (or the security measures, whichever you prefer). I had hoped the staff would be able to log into their Notes accounts in the computer lab and we would actually be able to configure their accounts and they could have a hands-on experience. Notes, however, is machine and user specific and in order for users to use different computers, the hoops I would have had to jump through was way too time consuming and labor intensive. So, I had to put together, quickly, a stripped down yet large PowerPoint presentation (I hate Microsoft! Let me say it again, I hate Microsoft! But, their software can be useful at times - ugh!). It worded out okay.

After Tuesday's QuietTime, I'm feeling a lot more comfortable with the idea of seminary and life within the Church structure. I don't know what is in store for me. I don't know what tomorrow will bring. I don't know what will be the best place, location, situation for me three years from now. I don't know what will make me the most satisfied. I don't know what talents and abilities I will be using and where they will be best utilized. I don't know who I will meet. I don't know the direction my life will turn in three years. It is true, I try to make these plans and guarantee these outcomes, yet I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. I don't know, and I still rebel at the idea of someone else making those decisions for me, even if only in the short term. Yet, I do trust God. I do trust that the one who knows me better then I know myself and who desires for me (and us all) to have life to the full knows! When I have trusted God in the past, I have been full, I have been challenged, I have been happy despite hardship, I have made a difference, and I have had opportunities and adventures that I never expected. So, leap.

Now, I just have to get everything in order. I'm hoping Russ may rent the bottom portion of my house. If I have someone I can trust, I don't think I will mind keeping my house. I just don't want to be burdened with the responsibilities of a house in Akron, Ohio while living in NYC. I need to start deciding soon!!!!

Okay, enough. I have to get moving. I have to call Bishop Williams. I have to finish this room! I have to pay down my credit card. I have to see my accountant. and on and on and on.......

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