Monday, 16 January 2001
I don't know where time is going anymore. This past year has flown by, but the last couple of months -- I just don't know how time could go any faster. Everyone says that as you age, time goes by all the more quickly. I demand that it stops!

I've been getting kind of bummed out the last few days. I think it is my annual pity party about not having a relationship. Or, maybe it is a pity party thinking I'm never going to find someone compatible rather then simply not being in a relationship right now. Whether I'm in one right now or not really isn't all that important. Frankly, right now would be such a good idea, but thinking that I will NEVER find anyone, well that is a different story. I've always dealt with a feeling of not understanding how anyone could love me for ME. I don't know where that came from or why it lingers, yet it does and raises its ugly head every now and then. Cognitively, I know it isn't true, but emotionally, especially when I go for long periods of no interest in anyone around me (or only interest expressed by others I have no interest in), I can't help but think I will never find someone. This is really something I have to leave to God. I haven't done a very good job on my own, that's for sure.

Pool with RC on Thursday was fun. I haven't played pool in so long I figured I would make a big fool of myself, but I held my own. As a matter of fact, I won 3 our of 4 games. Now, that was a miracle. RC is a very nice guy -- sincere, seems to have his head screwed on right, honest, cute smile, a talker -- he would make someone a nice boyfriend. He seemed a bit crestfallen when I told him I was going to seminary this coming August. I have no idea whether he has ideas other then just getting to know new people or not, but he isn't the one. I'm hoping he could be someone to just hang out with from time to time -- especially going to Aero's games and what not. We shall see.....

I took my nephew, Cory, who is three and a half, with me on Saturday. My brother had another segment of his Architecture license exams and my sister-in-law had to work. We met up with the guys in FrontRunners for breakfast at Tina's (the waitresses, great people!, just fell in love with him. He is such a ham!!). Then we went to the Great Lakes Science Center and watched the OmniMax movie, Amazon. I was kind of worried that it might be a little too much for him, but he seemed to do okay. I think he may have had a hard time tracking everything at first, but when the animals came on screen, he got into the movie. He said later that he was a little scared. Once again, I meant to take the digital camera along, but forgot it! I am once again kicking myself.

I'm concerned about my brother and sister-in-laws relationship. There are really going through some rough times right now. I hope and pray that they are able to work through everything -- and that they have the desire to do so! God, help them and get through to them!

Tax prep is finally done! I got everything into my computer yesterday, a needed day off for Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. Time to move on......

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